Kansas City Graduation 2024: Good Luck With WWIII

This week we notice that our cowtown and much of the nation was fascinated with fairly typical intolerant and discouraging remarks at the commencement of an overpriced Catholic college.

The punchline . . . 

The culture war social media slap fighting keeps us all distracted from WWIII which might have already started without much fanfare. 

In retrospect . . .

The hot mess makes Travis Kelce's graduation antics even more poignant.

Sorry, but any recent college grad must admit that beer chugging is far more satisfying than earnestly conveying moral guidance that technology & "the science" will make irrelevant in a few hundred years (or less) . . .

Sure, Harrison Butker's graduation speech has touched a nerve and resulted in an outpouring of support for his conservative perspective. 

But he doesn't seem like he'd be any fun at a party and Patrick Mahomes doesn't even bother to talk to the guy. 

Still . . .

We respect his strong opinions if only because they remind us of the greatest graduation speech ever spoken by a sage of the modern era . . .

“Look out for number one and try not to step in number two.”― Rodney Dangerfield

The concluding remark from the 1986 comedy classic "Back To School" might teach us all something about humility and the commonality of our futile existential struggle against an uncaring Universe. 

Also, it's best to keep it simple for grads that'll probably be living in basements across the nation anyhoo.

Even better . . . All of this graduation talk inspires tonight's www.TonysKansasCity.com playlist dedicated to our favorite songs about the American right of passage and low key class warfare that's even more clandestine than the current World War . . . The ongoing inflationary crisis . . . Or the chaos at the Southern Border that's actually great for corporate American and won't stop any time soon. 

It has been 20 years since English singer Natasha Bedingfield debuted with her breakout single "Unwritten" that is about eternal hope or maybe menopause. Either way, it's an inspiring message for your mom who has to suffer through pointless graduation festivities.

Vitamin C scored their only hit in 1999 with Graduation (Friends Forever) that would start an era when MSM and mobile phones haven't really connected Americans and only serve to create a society that's more lonely than at any other point in modern history.

Let's go with something just a bit more current, fun. feat. Janelle Monáe “We Are Young” has a somewhat local connection given that the singer from the Dotte showed a bit of promise before she got a bit too weird to elicit much hometown pride. However, the song still holds up if only because it's bittersweet and hopeless despite the optimistic lyrics.

At 76, we hear that Alice Cooper still does a respectable version of "School's Out" which is apropos given that American workers no longer have the option of retiring once they enter the workforce.

Finally, Simple Minds - Don't You (Forget About Me) is probably the Gen-X graduation anthem which runs contrary to the experience of so many Americans who spend far too much time in their adulthood trying (in vain) to disregard, outrun and escape the emotional baggage they were burdened with earlier in life.

This playlist might seem like a bummer but it's actually quite hopeful inasmuch as smarter graduates might realize that their achievement is nice and something that will hopefully keep them out of the fast food game BUT, like most things, only holds whatever meaning they ascribe to it. 

As always, thanks for reading this week and have a safe & fun Saturday night.