Kansas City denizens traditionally pack on the pounds during the upcoming holiday season and so this afternoon our blog community offers just a bit of inspiration to watch the scales.
To wit and NOT because we want to shame locals but mostly because we seek to inspire healthy habits and maybe motivate our community out of the basement and into the streets . . .
KANSAS CITY INSIDER TECH TEASE: BIRD DEBUTS BIGGER & BETTER SCOOTERS IN ORDER TO DEAL WITH HEFTY LOCAL RIDERS!!!
Here's the word:
"Bird is rolling out their Bird Zero Scooter that will offer a more rugged frame for Kansas City fat asses, solid tires with no air, longer battery life and all day rentals so no one can take your scooter while you're having a $7.00 Starbucks Latte."
Confirmation just published . . .
Bird Unveils Bird Zero: Custom-Designed e-Scooter for Ridesharing 2.0
After powering 10 million environmentally-friendly rides, Bird, the leader in Rideshare 2.0, today announced Bird Zero, the first rugged e-scooter designed and engineered by Bird specifically for long-lasting every day shared use. The new e-scooter was manufactured in collaboration with Okai.
Rolling out to markets throughout the U.S. during the coming weeks, Bird Zero is designed to meet the demands of Rideshare 2.0 by providing riders with more battery life for longer range, better lighting for increased visibility, and enhanced durability for a longer life-span. Specific benefits include:
Extended Range: 60% more battery life for longer rides and serving more riders every day;
Improved ride stability and durability: Solid tires, a wider and longer riding chassis with a low center of gravity to provide a stable ride and greater durability across a variety of ground surfaces;
Advanced technology: Integrated digital display to easily view the speed, which does not exceed 15 mph, and battery level of the vehicle; plus improved GPS to more easily find an available Bird.
"Bird was started as an experiment to test whether people would give up short car trips for environmentally-friendly rides on shared e-scooters," said Travis VanderZanden, Bird founder and CEO. "One year in, we have learned that we are solving a significant challenge for riders and cities who want to get cars off the road and carbon out of the air. Our new ruggedized e-scooter fleet delivers riders a more reliable and longer-lasting ride," said Travis VanderZanden, CEO and founder of Bird.
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Developing . . .
She seems like tons of fun. I want to make her my wife! You know she can cook.
ReplyDelete^^^^^^^^^^ Gross. Back in the basement with you boy.
Deleteif they really cared about kansas city, they would require helmets. the scooters keep causing accidents and sending people to the hospital. real shame that city hall is taking money from this misery. they're going to feel bad when somebody gets seriously injured.
DeleteScooters are a fad. Next Summer it will be something else. Segway has already developed electric shoes that are just as fast and you can ride on the sidewalk. There's always something new under the sun and this isn't going to last. Shame KC fell for the hype. KCMO doesn't care about residents, other cities are banning these scooters.
ReplyDeleteThe Segway Drift W1 e-Skates are lightweight, portable and extremely unique. Designed for maximum comfort and fun the Drift W1 is the perfect product to usher in a new type of personal transportation.
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ReplyDeleteThe top of her leg could bat somebody senseless dang.
@3:48pm
ReplyDeleteNo, "they're", as in Sly and the gang at 12th and Oak, not going to feel badly when somebody gets hurt.
They don't even care when over 100 residents get murdered every year.
Let's get these priorities straight!
These scooters are almost as cool as THE streetcar!
Are we Brooklyn yet?
The average 12 year old has a 16 inch wide ass. That's why crew can pickups sell so well.
ReplyDeleteThe large lady's scooter was made by Bird's subsidiary, Pterodactyl.
ReplyDeleteDo not believe scooters cause accidents. The accidents are caused by the careless idiots riding them.
ReplyDeleteAt least the larger scooters will allow the soy boys to ride in tandem provided the rear rider has something to hold on to.
3:51 you can barely drive a car down kc streets let alone a scooter or electric shoes
ReplyDeleteWe have some great big fat sluts around here. I mean FAT.
ReplyDeleteIs that Jolie?
ReplyDeleteI can't wait to see how the new upgrades will work in 1" of snow? Like the street car, they probably won't??
ReplyDeleteWill Lime and Bird pay their chargers to pick them up and store them? Not likely. Will they continue to litter the local corner buried in 2" of snow and ice???
Should we throw them into the street, where they belong, so the snowplows can refurbish them????
Sorry for all the questions.
Imagine the plus-sized crowd walking to their destination. What a concept, huh?
ReplyDeleteYes no doubt all we consumers can all put our complete and unwavering 150% trust in Travis VanderZanden.
ReplyDeleteLOL
That lady on the scooter there deserves High Praise because she is what it's all about. Nothing wrong with that if they have to build the scooters better then we all win I would like to see her as a couple of sweet air bags. Think about it.
ReplyDeleteRides for fatties this is what we come to thanks a lot Democrats. Thanks Obama!
ReplyDeleteMade in China too. What a deal.
ReplyDeleteThat bitch needs a dually
ReplyDeleteSo, in fact, Kansas City had nothing to do with this.
ReplyDeleteMore dishonest headlines from KC BEST FAKE NEWS SITE.
Fat people should stay home and eat frozen bon-bons.
ReplyDeleteOnce again another new alternative mode of transportation in KC under the Sly James administration which will FAIL to move Tony Botello’s fat ass from his mom’s basement
ReplyDeletePoor little scooter...spinning and pawing trying to get Shaquita’s 350lb ass up an incline.
ReplyDelete