Sadly, the former glory of Kansas City's Country Club Plaza is now a thing of the past. Kansas City's premiere party district is mostly known for flash mobs and smash & grab robberies nowadays.
Like it or not, it seems the district is, in fact, headed the way of Bannister Mall.
But it's not all bad news . . .
CHECK THE TOP 5 NEW TENANTS FOR THE HALLS BUILDING ON THE KANSAS CITY COUNTRY CLUB PLAZA!!!
The greeting card giant jumped ship amid digital era decline and now filling the space is a top priority.
Obviously, this blog community would like to help . . .
Suggestions . . .
1. Community Center - No reason flash mobs should miss the colder months . . . And we might as well be honest about the non-profit direction of the local district.
2. Whole Foods??? A horrible rumor circulating that hints a granola future for the formerly posh destination . . . I wouldn't count on it BUT stranger things have happened . . . Like somebody shooting at the Mayor and getting away with it.
3. Toy Train Streetcar Depot - Sadly, this one isn't too far off base and the plan to bring the Toy Train to the Plaza should be the final signal that nobody in this town really cares about the East Side.
4. Sidewalk Performer/Panhandling Training Center - It's important to be realistic about the new economy.
5. Police Station - This might actually help . . . Other than flash mobs the Plaza is home to quite a bit of unreported crime, petty theft and robberies that don't make the news. Denizens of the district face a lot more danger than African-American kids who want some place safe to hangout . . . For years random crime around the district has been a fact of life while flash mobs get all the media attention.
Feel free to share more suggestions . . . Highwoods is going to need a lot of ideas as more merchants give up on the formerly great Kansas City entertainment district.
Developing . . .
Nah, the ideal tenant would have to be another Blood Bank/Plasma Center. There, the niggers could get their dope and wine money for the day, AND they'd be right where the action is already! A real win-win situation.
ReplyDelete*
ReplyDeleteMr. Tony,
Thank YOU. I wondered where I parked my car.
I was thinking that the monolithic structure could be used as a mini mall of local products.
That would help run it down pretty fast so the "historic hysterics" won't get all shirty when the Highwoods developers announce plans to tear it down and build upward office space.
We read with much interest your latest submission, "My Bashing of the Country Club Plaza is an attempt to Mask the fact that I am a self loathing Midwesterner who thought my Blog would Catapult Me to Stardom but now have come face to face with the fact that I am Doomed to be here for the rest of my Life", but, sadly, it does not meet our needs at this time as it is too obvious at its attempt at humor which makes it fall flat, much in the same way your aspirations have.
ReplyDeleteWe wish.you luck in your attempts to break out of the Midwest and suggest that a Greyhound bus ticket might be the practical way out.
-Phlebotomists Monthly
You've been reading loyally for three weeks by my count. And nobody laughed at your joke yet.
ReplyDeleteThis would be an ideal place for "translational research".
ReplyDeleteThe world's largest Popeye's Chicken and Biscuits?
ReplyDeleteWinter is coming. A great place for indoor flash mobs.
ReplyDeleteHow long until tony gets evicted from his mommy's basement? That's what we really want to know.
ReplyDeleteHall-Mart
ReplyDeleteHow about:
ReplyDelete"Van-Tran-Wan-Can Nail Parlor" ?
It would make a simply FAB-ulous gay bar. Cover it in shiny black leather and black sequins and call it "Dixie Hell".
ReplyDeleteI work in healthcare and give plasma based products to patients at least every other day. Plasma products are filtered down and tested. They are safe. It is hard to pay for these plasma based products because they are so expensive. There really is a market to this based on the economy---the more people need money, the more plasma is available to people that need it, and cheaper in price. The big issue is, healthcare reform is interested in tampering with this market. I work for a special kind of doctor that treats burn patients with infections..which is pretty much every burn patient after a while. I give many different plasma based products to burn patients. These people need this stuff. I just don't know what is going to happen in the future if the government decides to mess around with these types of blood based products. It has been suggested that people donate plasma and blood for money to pay health insurance premiums. I think that is a bad idea because then people that are ill or feeling bad would come in and donate blood or plasma even though they shouldn't be. I've never met a doctor that recommends selling plasma, because they say it makes people more likely to get colds, and most doctors have a poor impression of the red cross and all the money they make off of "free--donated blood". I have been told many times to never donate blood before a big event,(i.e. travel, long car trip, stressful things, holidays, and changes in your life) because that will ruin your blood chemistry and stress out your system and bone marow. I don't know. I am scared for the future with all these changes from so called healthcare reform. Also, because tony is a guy, and he has a girl reading/editinng the forums, I will tell you that donating blood and plasma can impact your hormones in the bedroom with the chemical messengers. Just in case you want to know.
ReplyDeleteIf it becomes a gay bar, they will have to have an italian guy own it, and then pay an illegal to kill the owner, just like the good old days of the edge. Or so I've heard people say.
ReplyDeleteThat would be OK. This town needs more mob involvement. Crime wasn't rampant when the mob ran the crime.
ReplyDeleteBuild a 24-acre police fort. I hear the rich, wealthy clientele really love overkill.
ReplyDeletewww.BlightMeKC.com
Plaza Payday and Title Loans
ReplyDeleteIn the Community Center suggestion, you reference the shopping district is going the nonprofit route--that is about as wrong as possible--The Country Club Plaza is having record years.
ReplyDeleteInstead of rumors, Tony, why don't you just verify claims?
ReplyDeleteMaybe you could move there Blogger King! Out of the basement to the top of the world... Well, maybe not exactly the top of the world. And i would bet your Mom's house is in a safer neighborhood. Oh sh-t... Maybe you should stay where you are and let Highwoods figure this out by themselves :)
ReplyDeleteWalmart!
ReplyDelete11:55 if "record years" is marked by more and more high-end businesses leaving (including a long-time anchor store)only to be replaced by everyday "mall shops," then i'd hate to see what bad years would look like.
ReplyDeleteWhole Foods is going to be at 51st and Oak accross the street from the UMKC administration center. It's on the way, all but a done deal, and to tear up the parking lot that is there now.
ReplyDeleteWeaves R US
ReplyDeletePlaza deserves a Walmart. Make it a SUPER CENTER!
ReplyDeleteTony pretending that African American kids are just looking for a safe place to have fun.
ReplyDeleteWhat a hoot. I talked to 2 cusotmers just this week, one off of 83rd and Mission and one in Mission Hills by the Golf Course. They and their wives were confronted and threatened (Not actually stuck.) by gangs of African American kids who ranged, they believed from 15 to mid 20's.
In one instance, after they had dinner, they were surrounded and were unable to cross the street while comments about fucking their wives were a big hoot.
Total load of shit Tony, load of fuckin shit.
Mr. H----- is never going back there and the other guy, I don't know his name, I just over heard him telling his story, they are NEVER going back there.
Even Mary fuckin O'Halloran on RUCKUS complained about the side walks being blocked and people having to walk in the streets to avoid confrontation.
Total bullshit.
Hoolagins, Fedders and Plazamart
ReplyDeleteI like the idea of a WalMart Supercenter! Right on! And then it can have a Jiffy Lube and a car wash there, too. And Lutfi's Fried Fish.
ReplyDeleteLmao@ 8:19
ReplyDeleteFunny every time!!
How about a Harold Penner's super store? The customers are right there.
ReplyDelete