CRAIG GLAZER GETS THE LAST WORD!!!

TKC NOTE: This 4th of July week Kansas City media was dominated by local entertainment industry power player, raconteur and our pal Craig Glazer. So, right now it seems appropriate to give him the last word on his recent media blitz.

Final Word on The Word: The Pitch

I really need to thank David Hudnall for his hard work on the cover story this week about me; ‘The Kid Stays in the Picture’. In getting to know this Pitch Editor over the last couple of months, I’d have to say that he’s a pretty decent guy. I really think David wanted to do a balanced and fair story, remember, he had to be under a little bit of editorial pressure to ‘soil the bed’ so to speak. Some commenters and readers probably read the piece and felt Hudnall was more negative than positive. I don’t really think so. It’s my belief he was just attempting to write an entertaining story over some convoluted and complicated subject matter. With rare exception, I have befriended many of the journalists I’ve worked with over the last three decades or so. One of my closest friends is Sal Manna from the LA Media, who covered my trials in court and all my Hollywood antics in everything from LA Magazine, the LA Times, the LA Reader and the LA Weekly, just to name a few. Later Sal, of course, co-wrote the King of Sting. Kansas City reporters like Hearne Christopher, Jeff Flanagan, and Paul Wenske all became good buddies. Wenske even flew to LA to do his story. Even though Star publisher Art Brisbane initially took a dim view of my life as a sting artist, we later met for drinks and became pretty chummy. Brisbane would write two more columns which were more on the positive side about my past. I couldn’t list all the reporters, even in just Kansas City alone, who have interviewed me over the years. Most were very nice and fair people like Brian McTavish, Joyce Smith and heck I even had front page coverage from my buddies over at ‘The Jewish Chronicle’. His name is Rick Hellman.

The bottom line is this: with rare exception, everyone who is under the spotlight in the media is going to get their nuts crushed more often than they like. Kansas City is a very conservative town. Yes, we all know we’re a city that watches it’s porn on Saturday and goes to church on Sunday. It’s basically a nine to five town with some huge success stories. I know many of my peers, like David Bloch, Dan Lowe, Johnny Dare and even Hearne Christopher could buy and sell me. I wish I had their money. So it’s really not about financial success, our city just doesn’t really have a long term controversial media figure who lands in so many different arenas like I do. Hey everybody wants their Charlie Sheen, Robert Downey Jr, Paris Hilton or Kim Kardashian to throw stones at and boy, do they. Hell, now they’re even ragging on Johnny Depp, calling him a ‘blind, geriatric, past-his-prime superstar’. Funny, just 90 days ago he was the coolest, neatest greatest guy in the world. Hey, don’t start hammering me for comparing myself with this group. I’m not. These guys are international stars, I’m just a working man with a comedy club who has had a controversial background and who is trying to keep my hand in the entertainment game. In the end, more of a historical footnote than an entertainment footnote.

Our two most celebrated area heroes over the last two decades would have to be George Brett and Len Dawson. I know and like both of these gentlemen. George even mentioned Stanfords in Sport’s Illustrated several years ago as one of his three favorite hangouts. Even these two great sports icons have had more than their fair share of media attacks. Rumors got so vicious on Brett that he had to have Jeff Flanagan write a front page story saying he wasn’t gay. Len Dawson had to go through Super Bowl IV under the glare of a Federal investigation trying to tie him to gambling.

So you see, if you choose to be in the public eye at a high level, it’s only a matter of time before you get hammered. Kansas City has never had a media personality like myself, someone who will bare their soul on everything from dating, business, legal entanglements and on and on ad infinitum. It’s never been done here. I’ve now been doing it for several decades, so of course there is going to be backlash, no matter what I do. One commenter made a good point, maybe my biggest accomplishment has been delivering great comedians to Kansas City for over thirty years and entertaining over half a million Kansas Citians at all of our clubs. My brother and I were trying to remember the long list of current and future stars that we have brought to this town for their first ever introduction to the KC community. Robin Williams, Sinbad, Sam Kinison, Bill Hicks, David Naster, Jimmy Walker, Damon Wayans, Kevin Hart, Katt Williams, Dennis Miller, Ellen DeGeneres, Lisa Lampenelli, Carlos Mencia, Daniel Tosh, TJ Miller, Frank Caliendo, Darrell Hammond, Kevin Pollack, Kevin Nealon, Larry The Cable Guy, Jeff Foxworthy, Carrot Top, Lewis Black, Doug Stanhope, Bryan Callen, Jim Florentine, Ralphie May, Dave Atell, John Reep, Lavell Crawford, Earthquake, Sommore, Ricky Smiley, D. L. Hughley, Bobby Slayton, Pauly Shore, Robert Schimmel, Rob Riggle, Jim Jeffries, Michael Winslow, Bobcat Goldthwait and Tommy Chong, just to name a couple dozen. This is a who’s who of celebrity comedy of the last three decades or so. That, my friends, is a stellar feather in our caps. Don’t get me started on all the charitable organizations I’ve been a part of or chaired.

My last official sting was in 1983 when I did a clever con game against the Federal Task Force posing as the Colombian Cartel in a fake money-laundering sting. The highly publicized 2001 indictment was all a bunch of malarkey as we later found out. I did nothing more than party with a few friends.

I made a lot of mistakes, but so have we all. Come on now, you have to admit, it’s been a lot more fun having me around than it would have been otherwise. Hey I’m getting older, who is going to replace me and Johnny Dare? Let me leave you with this, my favorite Hollywood witticism, Who’s this Burt Reynolds guy? Let’s get this Burt Reynold’s guy in for a look –see. Hey, he’s not bad, let’s use Burt Reynolds. For the love of god, we must have Burt Reynolds in this picture! I’m getting kind of sick of Burt Reynolds. Do we have to use Burt Reynolds? Who the fuck is Burt Reynolds! What goes up must come down.

It’s been my pleasure to entertain the city I have always loved and was born and raised in and even while I lived in LA I considered myself a Kansas Citian. I hope over the next few years I, in some small way, can bring an ‘Oh Wow!’ or an ‘I can’t believe he did that!’ or even just a smile to your face.