There probably won't be any women on Mars or at this upcoming local conference

Via Mac

All kinds of conspiracies will be revealed at the Uptown Theater in Kansas City, Missouri on Saturday, December 9 at 3 p.m. at the Dark 30 Tour except the great mystery as to why my ex-girlfriends still call me even though they are soooooo happy. My guess is that they're disappointed that Voodoo dolls don't really work and I'm not the only guy who won't put down the toilet seat or jokes about anal. Rock on.

Additionally, I'd like to solve the great conspiracy of all my missing socks and I wonder if the guys running this conference can help, because blaming the Tall Israelis just isn't productive.