Some racist lady recently sent me an interesting e-mail. Let's see what you d-bags think about this subject:
"Tony - I don't know if your readers are aware but there are some big changes taking place right now in Lee's Summit. I want to start off saying that I am not a racist person but what I see happening to my community is unfair and punishes people who have worked their whole lives for what they've got.It goes on from there and it's important to note that this message was originally written in all caps and is approximately 3000 words.
I'm talking about the increase in section eight housing that has been taking place all over my neighborhood and in two instances on my block. I cannot confirm one case but I have spoken with the owner of one house who got himself into a financial disaster that he could not recover from. The owner then made the government bail him out and turned his house into section eight property renting to a group of young blacks who are now terrorizing this street. I do not know if they have a mother or a guardian because all I see is a future gang that has no curfew and no jobs. Already we have had a higher number of burglary occurrences than ever before and the police have been called many times. The other house is more quiet but I notice that an older black gentleman keeps a better eye on the new tenants who just seem to be a mother and infant. Again I am not sure about the second house but I have watched my block go downhill this summer from one day to the next. When they moved in . . ."
The author presents a lot of personal details that aren't important to relay but I should note that this lady who began her missive with an insistence that she "was not a racist person" ended up dropping the n-bomb at least twice.
Rather than challenge any of her assertions, I thought that the most efficient way to handle this bit of reader response is to compose an open letter to the troubled soul in question.
Dear concerned suburban home owner,So, there you have it . . . According to folks who moved out to the suburbs to avoid people of color anyway . . . Section 8 is now destroying their community. Again, I don't really care but I think the manifestation of a national trend in Kansas City is important not only because it demonstrates that this town is in no way isolated from the global financial markets but also that people in the suburbs are mostly racist. Natch.
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!! You dumb broad, you thought you were safe out there and that your fortress of consumerism, racial profiling and elitism would keep you protected from the real world. Sorry. I guess your corporate masters sold you out when they started giving loans to anyone with a face and now the real world that you tried to avoid is right at your doorstep. Don't feel bad, Section 8 is moving to the suburbs at a record pace in light of the recent mortgage crisis and of course there are going to be growing pains.
I'm advising that you actually meet and greet your new neighbors rather than just calling the cops on them every time Judge Judy goes to commercial. I think that you'll find that your new neighbors aren't as different as you might think. If that strategy doesn't work I'd also like to advise you to confront your fears by taping a $20 bill to your head and going walking during the late evening hours. It may not work out exactly as planned but if you make it home than I guarantee you'll have a new perspective on life.
Additionally, I think you should drop this apprehensive pose and maybe introduce your new neighbors to your adult daughters or any other single, attractive, white women in the immediate vicinity.
Not that I care, but it'll probably work out fine and if it doesn't than at least you'll be comforted by the notion that Kansas City's problems aren't so easily abandoned and they've found you while you were living in a land of make believe and trying to escape not only reality but also the global economy.
Sincerely,
Your Friendly Neighborhood TKC
I guess the condos in Kansas city aren't that bad after all.
ReplyDeleteWell Done!
ReplyDeleteSo many questions about this. If this woman took the time to send a massive rambling letter to Tony then she must be familiar with his blog. Surely she wouldn't write to someone she doesn't read or know anything about. But yet if she is a regular reader why would she think Tony would be sympathetic to her lunacy? Most importantly, did she send any hot pictures of herself?
ReplyDeleteEVERYBODY PANIC
ReplyDeleteIt totally jives with something I was going to blog on after a conversation with a friend on Sunday. He owns about 60 section 8homes in the city and says he is having trouble renting them because (1) the schools are so bad that even poor people are paying attention and (2) the huge increase in suburban vouchers are making it possible for people to move out to suburbs.
ReplyDeleteWhenever anyone starts with, "I'm not a racist but...." they are a racist.
YOu are so lucky to get mail like that.
Tony is GRRRRREAAT!!
ReplyDeleteI kind of like the idea of economically distressed women who need the sexual support of strong men who pack heat being well distributed throughout the county.
ReplyDeleteQuality satire, Tony. Good stuff.
ReplyDeleteI like the way she just assumed the woman and infant were on section 8 without knowing.
ReplyDeleteShe or that older black man might actually be buying or renting the house without government aid.
Signed
Working black Eastern Jackson County homeowner (no govt. aid involved)
This lady is over reacting. There are several areas of our fair city that have experienced crime free prosperity from an influx of section 8 housing...
ReplyDeleteOn a more serious note, why would she send this to Tony? Maybe this is come kind of joke. Kind of like all the Barack Obama e-mails I keep getting.
Good job Tony, You can sleep with my eighteen year old daughter any time!
ReplyDeletePoor people have to live somewhere...why not in the burbs? At least there they can obtain the only thing that will lift them out of the circumstances - an EDUCATION. That's something we can't offer here in the city.
ReplyDeleteGood for them!
Those losers should move into Tony's basement!
ReplyDeleteIt's a fucking shame. I wish you would have taken it more seriously tony.
ReplyDeleteIt's happening nationwide, so join in Lee's Summit. Figure out how you will adapt, adopt, and make a community. check out my blog post for my take on this issue. Good catch, Tony.
ReplyDelete"According to folks who moved out to the suburbs to avoid people of color anyway ..."
ReplyDeleteFunny ... I thought people moved out to the suburbs because there's less traffic and less pollution. Or they're starting a family and would like to buy a home with a yard where their kids can play. Or because crime is generally much lower in the suburbs. Or because the school systems are generally much better. Or because there's more variety and better access to grocery stores, auto repair shops, health care providers, restaurants, banks, etc.
Nope. In Tony's world, it's all about color. It's ONLY about color. I guess blacks, Latinos and Asians don't move to the suburbs -- and with all the white people out there already, why would they?
suburbs are for sellouts of all races. Come back to KC!
ReplyDeletei think that's good for America. Because, white folk just haven't had grilled cheese, unless it's done with government cheese. Add a slice of whole cut ham..best sandwich ever. I want section 8 neighbors,to remind of the good ol days..and maybe get some of that government cheese. :)
ReplyDeleteThe fastest way to ruin a perfectly good neighborhood: Section 8 housing.
ReplyDeleteWe ran to Johnson County to get away from that kind of thing, now it just follows us.
Looks like it's time to move farther out.....
To the ANONYMOUS posting above: I agree...you should move farther out. I hear MARS has neighborhoods that are TO DIE FOR!!!!!!
ReplyDelete