School's Out

Everybody has heard of the stripper who is paying her way through college. This bullshit line works for young tramps until they are about 30 years old. By that time, they have either caught some sucker in a complicated confidence scam that probably involves a baby or they are so hopelessly addicted to some illicit substance that the subterfuge no longer matters.

Sadly, students must continue to be creative while financing their education because they're getting less help from the state and the federal government.

Locally, Mizzou President recently abandoned his tuition freeze plan and wants lawmakers to pick up the slack instead. The college official now proposes a scheme that would link tuition increases to inflation. So sometime at the end of the month you'll be forced to make the decision between Top Ramen and textbooks. Additionally, Cleaver and Moore are speaking out against financial aid cuts but put together they have as much credibility as one of the spokespersons for NORML who also lobby the college set in search of support.

I guess the most important thing that educated people should learn is that it's best to be born to rich parents. A rich and powerful parent can not only get you into a great school but also finance your many failed businesses along with your bid for the White House. Of course, the next best option is to marry rich and then find a good divorce lawyer. Sadly, they don't teach you any of this stuff in school.