Bitch, I ain't got the time. You may be brilliant, you may have the cure for cancer or some insight that will find husbands for all the desperate bitches in Westport and make every lonely guy's penis bigger but if you can't express it in less than 500 words . . . nobody will read it.
This is the Internet bitches and attention spans are at a minimum. Show me some dancing monkeys, show me some anger, show me your tits but do not expect anybody to show interest for more than 2 minutes. Think of yourself as a sixty year old fucking: short and sweet.
Yes, there are a few bloggers out there that can entertain a crowd over the course of 1000 words but for the most part they have interesting lives, lots of writing talent and an ego the size of your mother's ass. For the most part, it's a good idea to be brief, leave them wanting more. Imagine that you've just fucked an ugly stranger, better to get out of the room quickly rather than wait for painful explanations.
I hope this note has helped you. I love reading blogs and I only want to encourage you as your reveal your failings to the world. A considerate blogger is a joy to read. Lastly, always remember that the relationship you're writing about now is undoubtedly going to fail, things will get better, your ass isn't that big, your penis couldn't possibly be that small, she's cheating on you, so is he, you're probably gay, you shouldn't be smoking that much dope, you are a compulsive gambler, your mom loves your other siblings more, nobody will treat you as good as your daddy, too much anxiety is wasted energy and venting is unproductive because it only helps you vent (try dealing with your feelings instead). Keep in mind all these helpful hints when bearing your soul and your readers will appreciate you for it. Or you could just post some awesome song lyrics.
This is the Internet bitches and attention spans are at a minimum. Show me some dancing monkeys, show me some anger, show me your tits but do not expect anybody to show interest for more than 2 minutes. Think of yourself as a sixty year old fucking: short and sweet.
Yes, there are a few bloggers out there that can entertain a crowd over the course of 1000 words but for the most part they have interesting lives, lots of writing talent and an ego the size of your mother's ass. For the most part, it's a good idea to be brief, leave them wanting more. Imagine that you've just fucked an ugly stranger, better to get out of the room quickly rather than wait for painful explanations.
I hope this note has helped you. I love reading blogs and I only want to encourage you as your reveal your failings to the world. A considerate blogger is a joy to read. Lastly, always remember that the relationship you're writing about now is undoubtedly going to fail, things will get better, your ass isn't that big, your penis couldn't possibly be that small, she's cheating on you, so is he, you're probably gay, you shouldn't be smoking that much dope, you are a compulsive gambler, your mom loves your other siblings more, nobody will treat you as good as your daddy, too much anxiety is wasted energy and venting is unproductive because it only helps you vent (try dealing with your feelings instead). Keep in mind all these helpful hints when bearing your soul and your readers will appreciate you for it. Or you could just post some awesome song lyrics.
Comments
Post a Comment
TKC COMMENT POLICY:
Be percipient, be nice. Don't be a spammer. BE WELL!!!
- The Management